Finding the Balance

I'm realizing more and more that I'm in a season of preparation. I came here expecting to simply go and do, but things aren't happening that quickly. As with anywhere you go, you have to soak into the environment. It's been a culture shock for me in the sense that I'm used to having so many obligations and commitments that I never had to decide how to spend my day, someone else has always done that for me! Here, however, I haven't acquired those obligations that used to dictate so much of my time; I'm having to learn how to manage it myself. What I'm discovering is that in doing this, there is a lot of freedom, but there's also a lot of room for mismanagement. Many times, I get discouraged, feeling like I should be conquering some notable task, making some kind of colossal difference in the world, but instead, I find myself going to bed yet one more time without having done anything like that. Darn you addicting Disney movies!
It didn't take long to realize I needed to remedy this situation, but coming up with the solution is not as easy as it may seem. What I realized is how big of a role inspiration plays in the self-motivated world. When commitments aren't telling me what to do, inspiration has to. The problem is when there is no inspiration, I tend to avoid doing anything that doesn't sound like fun. If you've ever been in that predicament, you know that discipline goes out the window and boredom sets in fast. So in solving this quandary, I decided to compartmentalize one day at a time and fill it with a certain amount of mental stimulation (learning, filling up) and an amount of charity (teaching, pouring out). Both sides must be present and balanced.
For the charity aspect, I'm working on making it a life style. It can't be just an event or a task during the day, it must become a mindset that thinks outwardly, eyes that look for need and arms that are willing to reach out and meet it. One step I'm taking in this field is by building relationships with people in town and around the community. The nice thing about living on a small island is that you tend to see a lot of people that you recognize. My first step is to meet those people. If I were to meet 5 people every time I went into town, I would know half the island in no time. That's where the ministry begins for me. Without relationships, it's nearly impossible to make any kind of long term impact in someone's life.

As for the mental stimulation part, I find that the more I learn, the more inspired I get to keep learning. It's just the digging in that takes some patience. Reading, in and of itself, is a great mental exercise, but studying subjects that interest you can be so rewarding when you're not under the pressure of school. Go figure!
Right now, I'm studying from several books of the bible, both Old and New Testaments, a music book on Afro-Cuban drumming styles, a book on singing, a devotional book, and a novel, as well as Spanish and Kriol language books. Just little by little, I try to study as if I were taking a course in that particular subject.
Living in this new environment has so much to teach me. I've learned so much from the people who have lived here forever, just by watching them and talking to them, they'll show me all kinds of new things. Everything from fishing, to cooking, to music styles, and languages, it's all so fascinating to me. Living on an island where most people have little money, and a lot of time and natural resources, results in some crazy ingenuity. I love learning their quirky ways of doing things. It's an interesting way of learning, and as I discover, the world becomes my school!
Oh, and it's amazing what difference it makes to get up early! the sun rises at 5:30 and if you're not up by then, you're burning day light! as a wise friend Matt Bell would say.