Lawlessness or lovelessness?

If sin is lawlessness, and Jesus focuses the commandments into the greatest two being Love God, and love your neighbor, then the law is to love, thus lawlessness is lovelessness. So, if we act in love, we are acting lawfully, and if we act in sin, we are acting not in love, but in selfishness. We aren't supposed to manage sin, we aren't supposed to focus on do's and don't's, instead, we are to be motivated by love. I don't know anyone who doesn't like to be loved.

psalm

“Lord, make me to know my end, And what is the measure of my days, That I may know how frail I am. Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths, And my age is as nothing before You; Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor. Surely every man walks about like a shadow; Surely they busy themselves in vain; He heaps up riches, And does not know who will gather them. “And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You. Psalm 39 4-7 NKJV

A Thought on Life and Money

I feel like having too much money would distract from a life of adventure. The lack of financial resources seems to enhance creativity. Learning how to be resourceful out of necessity is not only a way of freedom from financial obligation, but it makes life interesting. After all, necessity is the mother of invention.

One year in Belize

As of today (Oct. 10), I have officially been living in Belize for one year, and seeing as how I haven't blogged in a very long time, this seems like a good reason to write. It's very strange thinking about my life before Belize, it's so different and seems like so long ago. I have no concept of time while I'm here. When it comes to days and weeks and months, I just exist somewhere in the middle of all of it. This is mainly due to the fact that I don't have daily commitments, I just leave each day open to whatever comes along. I would say I prefer it that way. Anyway, here's what's going on in the life of Perry Wigglesmith these days. I think I become a little more Belizean every day. This week I learned how to make rice and beans and fried plantain. I don't know why I didn't try it sooner! As far as food is concerned, I do what I can to make my money stretch as far as possible. I'll just say I eat a lot of oatmeal. I like to cook and try new things, but that kind of thing takes time, and I'm far from proficient in that field. My roommate says I have the blood of a chef, but not the practice! This is because whenever I try to make something new, I usually butcher it the first few tries. I made some cookies last week..sort of... I'll just say my oven doesn't specify temperature, it just hast the little increasing slope as if to say, " It's somewhere between here and here, Good luck!" It's always fun though. I'm sharing a one bedroom apartment with a guy from Mexico named Jhonattan, but I just call him by his English name, Jonathan, it's much easier. I let him have the bedroom and I just camp on the couch in the main room. We have a trade off where I help him out with English and he helps me with Spanish. Although, he's doing much better at it than I am. He's a very cool guy. He helps clean the house and pays when he's supposed to, what more could you ask for! I have a lot of free time here, but I never get bored for long. I've recently been getting into knitting. Of all things right? I learned how to crochet earlier this year and decided to learn how to knit as well. I have a book called the encyclopedia of knitting... I tell everyone I'm an old lady at heart. I'm currently working on a scarf for winter seeing as how I will be in Texas for Alyssa and Matt's wedding in December. I want to make things that are useful, because in the tropics, knitted clothing isn't always the most practical thing to wear. On the agenda is a blanket to put on the couch, mainly for decoration. Some stuff I crocheted are a wash cloth and house slippers (as seen below), and lots and lots of hats. The dreads are coming along nicely. It's been a little over 5 months since Amber locked my hair. I've heard it takes one year for them to get mature and become almost maintenance free. I'm figuring out the best ways to keep them clean and pretty. They seem to be growing pretty fast too. I think the salt water helps tremendously. I'm still playing drums with Barrington and the Islanders, and still loving it. I think we are playing for a wedding this Saturday at Coco Beach, as well as the usual Sunday and Tuesday nights at Captain Morgan's Retreat. I'm still dumbfounded at how blessed I am to have that gig. And I've made connections with just about every musician on the island. There's a great community of musicians here, and plenty of live music every night of the week. I'm always biking around town, staying healthy whilst transporting! It's a win win mode of transportation. Although, we are indeed in the rainy season, which means there's no way to avoid getting wet. Perhaps my greatest idea yet is rain shorts. I cut some rain pants to where they just fit over my shorts and they keep me perfectly dry. It's amazing because my pants are always wet when I ride my bike and they never cease to get mud flung all over them, but with the rain shorts, problem solved. Plus, I never wear shoes, so it doesn't matter if my feet get wet. That's about it for the one year update, but my New (Belize)Year's resolution is to blog more. Stay tuned to see how that goes!

Trip to the states

This past month has been a little crazy and full of changes, but refreshing none the less. At the end of last month, my initial 6 months in Belize came to an end and I went back to Texas for the first time. My roommate, Camden, (or "John" for all of the San Pedrano's who couldn't remember "Camden") and I packed up our things and went back to Dallas by way of Cayo. We made it into a three day journey while we explored some of Belize's beautiful mainland before our flight to the states. By the time we reached Dallas, it was late at night and 40˚ due to a recent cold front. Needless to say, I was freezing! And on top of that, I had begun to experience culture shock in my own home town! I was in the place where I had grown up and it was so familiar to me, but it seemed somehow different. It was as though I was in a place that I had visited before in a dream, had I been gone for hours or days or years? 6 months is a very strange amount of time to be away from the entire country and culture that you are familiar with. Anyway, it took about a week before I warmed up (litterally!) to the idea of cars and having to wear shoes everywhere. So much land and distance between places. It just took some adjusting. The time there, however, was wonderful. I was blessed to be surrounded by friends and family almost all day every day. I tried to spend time with as many people as I could, but I was only there for 13 days, and that's just not enough time to really spend quality time with very many people. I think I did pretty good though considering the majority of my time was spent having my friend, Amber, put my hair into dread locks. That took about 2 hours every day for the full two weeks! And I am incredibly thankful to have a friend working on it who knew what she was doing! As the two weeks came to a close, we had a going away party for me, because Camden was back to stay. I was the lone ranger going back to San Pedro. I got on a 6 am plane and made it to the island before noon. Once again, believe it or not, I experienced culture shock. Even though I had spent 6 continuous months there and only 2 short weeks away, I had to get used to it all over again. Everything seemed so old and run down, but the sea looked so beautiful and refreshing. Everywhere, dirt roads that turn into lagoons when it rains and if something's not rusty or broken then it's not Belizean yet! It was another time of adjustment, although, I think the biggest adjustment was living alone. I moved into the one bedroom apartment across the hall from where I stayed last time. It was so strange to me as I unpacked Cam and Herby's things they had left behind, that they wouldn't be there anymore. It felt so similar to that first time I moved to Belize and my memory kept telling me the other two should still be there. It was a little lonely at first, but I soon got used to it. I jumped right back into my routine, playing music with Barrington and the Islanders and chilling at Melody's art gallery, making hemp bracelets and crocheting beanies in hopes of selling them. The island life is a simple one and I prefer it that way, but I really enjoy visiting home.

what would you say?

I have lived in Belize for 6 months now and it feels like I've spent years here; time definitely moves at its on pace when you're on an island. I'm preparing to go home to Texas for a visit this week and I'm not sure what to expect. I know it will be a culture shock, but I look forward to seeing people, as well as how much I've changed in comparison to my old life. I don't necessarily look forward to explaining my story to every person who asks, but I have to deal with that here as well. There's nothing more annoying than the person who asks a question like how I ended up in Belize or something that requires some explaining, yet they start to glaze over when I answer the question. I do, however, actually love telling the story to people who genuinely want to hear about it. I guess I just have to read the person and give them as much as they can pay attention to. Good listeners are few and far between it seems like, but that just makes them more refreshing to be around. (Btw, I consider anyone who reads the blog to be a good listener:) It's actually pretty funny how much I've shortened my response to people who ask about my story. I think I've actually gotten it down to one or two sentences. I say, "I got an opportunity to come here and jumped on it, without ever having been here before, I sold my stuff, quit my job, stopped going to college and moved here without looking back." People tend to respect that answer the most. lol

what are we waiting for?

Since I've been out of America, I've had some room to breathe and discover some things about life and culture. I have come to a realization that up until I moved here, everything in my life has been a preparation of some sort for the future. Whether it was school or working or practicing this or that, I spent all of my time and effort preparing for an unknown future. Preparation is great and necessary to a certain extent, don't get me wrong, but I don't believe it is meant to consume our lives the way it does. In America, it tends to define us. In Belize, however, or at least on the island, we let tomorrow worry about itself. We like to stop and enjoy the life we've been given. If people were less concerned about the latest and greatest crap that they have to work so hard for, and just learn to be satisfied with very little, they wouldn't have to let so much of their precious time slip right through their fingers while they punch the clock day after day. Take my advice and relax and enjoy the day, I don't know, maybe sell some stuff and work less hours, it does wonders for your health.

The Story of Redemption

God speaks to us in so many creative ways. Recently, Jeff shared with me what God showed him and I will now relay that to you... It's the number 420. Sometimes numbers start appearing often enough to catch our attention. While it is commonly known that 420 is the number representing marijuana, God is working in that number as well. Now watch this.
Jeff woke up at 4:20am (without even realizing it until after the fact) and opened his bible saying, "God, you choose the books," and then began flipping through. He started with Proverbs 4:20 which says, "My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words." Next, he wanted to go to Isaiah but God said, "No, go to Jeremiah" Interestingly enough, Isaiah doesn't have a 4:20. So Jeremiah 4:20 says, "Disaster follows disaster; the whole land lies in ruins. In an instant my tents are destroyed, my shelter in a moment." We're starting to see a story unfold. Now to the New Testiment. Matthew 4:20 "At once they left their nets and followed him." And ending in Romans 4:20 "Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God." How awesome is that?! it's a short story told through 4 books with the same verse in each.

Christ in me

From the moment I was saved, I became complete. As soon as Christ entered me, he became all that I am to where there's no way I can strive to be more. I've already reached perfection. There is nothing I can do to get "closer" to God; He's inside of me. If I strive to do all that I can do religiously, it will be in vain. All I can do is respond to the one true, holy, living God. "I no longer live, but Christ lives in me." (Galatians 2:20)

When I act in the flesh, attempting to achieve something for God or for myself spiritually, it always ends in frustration. I as a human have no words persuasive enough and no actions compelling enough to win anyone to Christ. The Holy Spirit is the one who does the work in them. All I can do is be obedient to the promptings of God and His will will be done. There's so much going on in the spiritual realm that we cannot understand. The spirit can be speaking the precise words to someone who we come in contact with, while we are lost for words. It's a beautiful revelation that we are not responsible for the salvation of others, that's God's work. We just allow Him to use us, regardless of how effective we think we are.

Belmopan

It's been a while since I've hoisted any personal stories on here, so I'll fill you in on my trip to Belmopan. First of all, Belmopan is the capital of Belize, located about an hour inland (west of Belize City). To start from the beginning, I have been playing the drums with local artists here and there; fortunately, God has provided work for me doing what I love. However, in order to work legally, it is required that I have a work permit, which at this point I don't have. So, in a moment of realization of the potential repercussions I could be faced with (jail time and hefty fines), I made a quick plan in my head to go to Belmopan to complete one of the steps of that process. Then out of the blue, I received a text from a friend (Israel) who lives in Belmopan, simply wishing me to have a blessed day. Now to interject story number 2...

Me and Israel

Israel Gilharry is a guy who my family met at the air port in Belize City on Christmas day. He noticed them doing a devotion and made his way to talk to them. Low and behold, they hit it off and my parents gave Israel my contact info. Israel was on his way to Kansas City for a conference where he incidentally met a guy from Dallas who happens to be friends with my roommate as we later found out. I don't think the 'small world' saying can take that kind of credit! Back to story number 1...

So Israel texts me and I tell him about my plan to go to Belmopan for the day to get my police record. We arrange that I will arrive Monday morning and contact him once I reach Belmopan from the bus station. A few days go by and my roommate decides to go with me. After thinking it over, we decide to leave on Sunday and spend the night in Belmopan so we can check out the mainland and get everything taken care of in the morning. Beyond that, however, we were just winging it. So Sunday we leave on the water taxi and everything goes smoothly, then we take a regular taxi to the bus station, we get on the bus and head out. I had my phone with me and wanted to text him, but I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to impose on him and make him feel obligated to take care of us when we got there, so I didn't send anything. When we arrive, no sooner than we step outside, I see a guy who catches my attention. I had not yet met Israel but I had seen his picture on Facebook and that looked like him. So I walk up to him and he asks where I'm from. "San Pedro" I told him and he says, "I'm Israel" Ha what?! He didn't know we were going to be there. The spirit prompted him to get on his bike and go. He didn't know where he was going, he just happened to end up at the bus station on Sunday afternoon just as our bus arrived. On top of that, he lost his phone a few days prior, so he wouldn't have received my message if I had let him know we had arrived. It was nifty that he showed up because we didn't have a place to stay and we didn't know where anything was. The town was much smaller than I had pictured it. We went to his church (which is connected to his house) and met a lady who later cooked dinner for us, gave us a bed to sleep in and made us breakfast in the morning. That's serious Belizean hospitality considering we had never even met her before! We now have a Belizean Grandma and brothers in Belmopan. As if that weren't enough, Israel works for the government and knows people who can pull strings. That comes in seriously handy around here. Not only did I get my police record fast, but I didn't have to pay for it, and Cam got his too! So for the rest of the day, we hiked a big hill and then chilled in town then ventured home. And there you have it; God did crazy things today.

Cam, Jess, perry atop a hill

Going not knowing

In "My utmost for his highest" Oswald Chambers addresses a topic that corresponds with my life in a way that it never has before. The topic is "going out without knowing."

"Have you ever 'gone out' in this way? If so, there is no logical answer possible when anyone asks you what you are doing. One of the most difficult questions to answer in Christian work is, "What do you expect to do?" You don't know what you are going to do. The only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing. Continually examine your attitude toward God to see if you are willing to 'go out' in every area of your life, trusting in God entirely. It is this attitude that keeps you in constant wonder, because you don't know what God's going to do next. Each morning as you wake, there is a new opportunity to 'go out,' building your confidence in God. ' ... do not worry about your life... nor about the body...' (Luke 12:22) In other words, don't worry about the things that concerned you before you did 'go out.'"

"He went out not knowing where he was going." Hebrews 11:8

So often people will ask me why I moved to Belize. Usually tourists ask me because they are fascinated with the fact that I just picked up and moved to an island. I continually find myself stumbling for an explanation, but the only real explanation is that God prompted me to stop what I was doing and relocate. He opened all of the doors and now here I am. I wouldn't call myself a "missionary" in the traditional sense, because I believe we are all called to be missionaries no matter where we are. I am simply a minister of Jesus Christ regardless of my location or occupation. I love how mysterious God is. A friend once told me, "God's not a recipe, he's a mystery." And it's so true.